


The Big Four

by nanailliterate



Series: Single and Ready to Continue Being a Responsible Parent [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Kid Louis, Kid Niall, M/M, but Zayn and Harry are still the only adults, kid liam, the kids are slightly older
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 11:34:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8444275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanailliterate/pseuds/nanailliterate
Summary: Niall's fourth birthday comes and Harry is here to celebrate. Zayn starts wondering when he won't be here for the rest of it too.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to A Passing in the Park so I recommend that beforehand.

Zayn’s always been one to appreciate the arts. He appreciates all kinds of art; whether it be painting, drawing, dancing, or even singing. But singing at 5:20 in the morning (on a  Saturday , Zayn cringes) isn’t what he had been expecting to wake up to that morning. It’s just that, well, this singing voice is a little too cute to not enjoy.

“La la la la happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to Ni Ni, happy birthday to me.” A little voice echoes through the house, it seems to be coming from the bathroom in the hallway. And it’s most likely only going to get closer once the little bugger is done in there to come into Zayn’s room.

And so instead of covering a pillow over his head to block out his child’s random noises like the young father normally would, Zayn chuckles to himself and sighs lazily, rolling around on his bed and stretching. Trying to ready himself to begin this special  day for the special  little boy.

Mid-stretch, Zayn is met with both a mouth and face full of strawberry-shampooed curls. He looks at the face belonging to the curls and laughs a little louder. Harry. Hair splayed out in all kinds of different directions, mouth wide open and soft snoring flying freely out of it, not to mention he was laying on his bare stomach and had his whole body stretched out so he had an unfair amount of  Zayn’s bed while Zayn himself had about 1/16 of the room.

Zayn doesn’t really care.

“Babe, get up.” Zayn whispers softy, lightly squeezing Harry’s shoulder, “Hey, time to get up. I heard a little someone’s already awake and excited for his birthday.” He continues. Harry, to no surprise, doesn’t move. Zayn rolls his eyes and sits up, snickering to himself as he raises his hand and lets it fall to land a little smack onto his boyfriend’s bum.

“Ouch! Zayn, not nice…” Harry groans, his morning voice raspy and new. Once he’s come back into the real world and not dreamland anymore, he rolls over onto his back and rubs his eyes tiredly, his frown not leaving his face. Harry’s not much of a morning person - in fact he’s the quite the exact opposite of one - and albeit he  did stay up the whole night playing “Guess where Louis and Niall hid my phone, wallet, and everything else I may need” with Liam giggling at him wildly whenever he came close to his misplaced items, unless Harry wants to be lectured by Niall for not being awake when he was, he should probably get up now. Zayn’s had to deal with a whiny Niall too many times to want to have it happen again, especially to Harry.

"You didn’t forget it’s a special kid’s birthday today, did you?” Zayn asks and smiles at Harry, running his fingers through the younger boys slightly tangled curls, trying to coax him awake. That pretty much always does the trick.

And what do you know, just like that, Harry’s awake. “Oh, of course not, I didn’t forget!” He smiles brightly up at Zayn, his dimples portraying how excited he is. Zayn laughs as Harry quickly scurries off the bed and trips over a toy that was laid very carefully right where somewhere would trip on it. Zayn has become accustomed to the booby traps of race cars and action figures (not dolls, don’t call them that unless you want Louis to give a 20 minute lesson on the differences between the two), but Harry has yet to catch on. However, Zayn does have to admit that everything around the small flat  is a bit neater and tidier, now that he has Harry to trick them into cleaning with songs and rewards for good behavior. Zayn’s been told something along the lines of ‘when you teach them to clean when they’re one, they’ll always remember to get it done’, such a typical Harry sing-song phrase to say to another adult.

After Harry’s done falling, and cursing, and being embarrassed about falling as he stands back up, Harry’s ran into the small closet adjacent of the bed.

Zayn raises an eyebrow in both amusement and adoration as he watches Harry quickly and so naturally pull on Zayn’s jumper, Zayn’s sweatpants,  and Zayn’s beanie. All belonging to - and take a wild guess here - Zayn. To be perfectly fair and honest, Zayn had told Harry he could borrow any of his clothes, since Harry has been practically living with the Malik’s since they met 9 months ago, leaving his own clothes back at his own flat. Harry’s there a good portion of the time anyway, so why not? Some people would say they rushed into things, but when its right it’s, right, isn’t it? And Zayn’s never been too keen on waiting anyway; reference to kid 1-2 and taking in kid 3 all in the short time of a few years.

“What’d you think if I gave Niall this?” Harry asks a tad bit nervously; hope arising in his eyes as he emerges from the closet kicking a huge box to show him. Really huge. Zayn wonders what on earth kind of present is that big for just a toddler, or perhaps kid is the right word now, and how he managed to not see it in his own closet. “I don’t have much experience in giving gifts to little kids since I was always the youngest in my family, but I do have common sense and I know kids like to climb on things and whatnot, so I thought he’d like this.” Harry continues, looking down at the box and running his thumbs over the sides thoughtlessly.

Zayn frowns slightly at the monster gift and gets up from the bed, his bones cracking as he walks over to Harry looking greatly prideful of the unknown treasure.

Zayn slowly opens the unwrapped, cardboard box and gasps when he sees the contents of it.

“Do you think he’ll like it?” Harry asks hopefully.

It’s a big playhouse that you can assemble in the backyard, with swings, a slide, and even a sandbox in it. And yeah, Zayn knows he’ll love it but it’s too much, obviously. Harry always does too much. It looks so expensive and Harry really shouldn’t have gone through the trouble.

“Harry this is great but-”

“Nope,” Harry objects, already interrupting any protests Zayn is ready to give, “This is Niall’s present, Z, and I spent a lot of time thinking about a good gift and I think they would  all like this. I was just looking for your opinion on it; I’m not taking it back.”

“You’re too much, Hazza. Too sweet, really.” Zayn says, smiling when Harry smiles at the nickname he was given many months ago. Zayn pulls Harry into his arms and places his lips gently to the curly haired lad’s. Harry has slight morning breath, and Zayn’s guessing he does too, but it’s still great. It brings back sweet and funny memories of their time together. Like when the kids first caught Harry cuddling up with Zayn in bed one morning and while Zayn went into panic mode and was prepared to give them a jittery and half-assed version of 'the Birds and the Bees’, Harry came up with the idea that he was simply scared of the dark and just had to sleep with Zayn to prevent nightmares. Not a permanent solution, but one that put Zayn at ease. Or another one when, for Harry’s own birthday, Zayn and the kids woke up at around 4 in the morning (they had to make sure that they’d wake up before Harry because he wakes up at freakishly early hours of the day for not being a morning person on random days) to bake him a cake and Liam, Louis, and Niall ended up eating so much of the cake batter that they had to resort to only making a couple of cupcakes but Harry loved it anyway and even helped take care of the kids when they had inevitable stomach aches later. Or when Harry was alone with the kids for the first time while Zayn ran some errands and he let those rascals run absolutely wild, and when he came back, Zayn had found his manipulative kids very much awake, watching a movie and cuddling with a sleeping, worn out Harry on the living room couch. And Zayn’s brain subtly whispers some more intimate, adult memories with Harry that he’ll have to reminisce about some other time when they can be alone privately for a while.

So yeah, kissing him, Zayn finds, gets better every time he does it. So Zayn’s just going to keep doing it.

Harry runs his hands up and down Zayn’s fit, bare chest, humming in content when he feels the older man's tongue licking at his lips for entrance. Just as Harry is about to give in, set his arms around the older boys (pulling him closer, falling onto the bed, limbs colliding, breathing shallower ), the little padding of feet is heard down the hall and is coming closer with each step. And Zayn expects it before it even happens.

Similarly to that very first day they met, they were interrupted again by the small, blonde haired toddler.

“Daddy! Harry! No kissing, it’s my birthday, kiss me!” Niall says brightly, not quite pronouncing Harry's name right as he races into the room and starts attacking their legs in a huge hug. He starts giggling, squishing and trying to mold himself between the two adults. Zayn looks down at his son with the shining blue eyes and dirty blonde hair and smiles. He sees a lot his sister in him, but more and more these days he just sees  his son. Not his sister and not the douche bag who got her pregnant in the first place or anyone else for that matter. Purely, his Niall.

Zayn smiles at the birthday boy and unwraps his arms from Harry’s waist, lightly squeezing his hipbone before detaching completely. Harry lets out a small laugh and kisses Zayn on the cheek. He turns to the small boy and crouches down to be eye level with Niall.

“Ahh, you’re gonna wish you never said that!” Harry ominously says with a little smirk playing on his lips. He picks him up and starts kissing his cheeks and forehead wildly while Niall laughs crazily and squealed in his arms. By the time he was satisfied with his work, Niall is breathless from laughing so hard as well as red faced. Zayn’s cheeks are a little sore from smiling so hard too.

“My turn.” Zayn laughs, watching as Niall is about to run away because  two kissy monsters just isn’t fair. “Calm down, I’m not the kissy monster. Just one peck.” Zayn declares. Besides, he was supposed to be entitled to 'first kiss of the birthday boy’ and Harry stole that, so Niall owes him special kisses anyway. He grins while picking Niall up and placing a loud kiss on his youngest kid’s cheek.

“Put down, put down!” Niall giggles happily, squirming in his father’s arms. Zayn takes mercy on him for the sole reason that he really is ridiculously ticklish and does what’s requested.

As soon as his little feet touch the ground, Niall is already running across the room, “Come on! Need to wake up Li Li and Louis!” He says excitedly. He’s ready to bolt out of the small master bedroom of the flat, but Zayn’s too quick - or maybe Niall’s underdeveloped, chubby little legs are too slow - but either way Zayn catches Niall before he can do any damage to waking his sleeping siblings up.

“Uh, no. It’s too early, ya weirdo.” Zayn says, scooping the smaller one up in his arms. Niall, being really excited, pouts and crosses his arms. Niall isn’t the most patient person in the world, and when a, now, four year old is truly excited about something, there’s not such a thing as 'waiting’.

So with that in mind Zayn’s fully prepared for the tears. For Niall to cry so loud that Louis and Liam will wake up anyway and they’ll start crying from being woken up and it’ll be just a huge crying fest, and then he’ll have to bring out the famous 'time out chairs’ that they absolutely hate which will make them cry even more and that’s not the way he wanted to spend this special morning and-

“Hey, no pouting. They’ll be awake soon. Let’s just have a cuddle on the couch until they get up, hm? You can pick out whatever you want to watch.” Harry suggests, ruffling Niall’s hair up. He’s always known exactly what to say so that they don’t start crying. He’s almost as good as Zayn is at it by now. And this is no exception, Niall’s bad mood goes as quickly as it came, a huge grin has taken its place as he nods his head in agreement.

Niall reaches out for Harry automatically, like on the first day they met, and Harry takes him into his arms and carries him out the door, giving a smile directed to Zayn as he goes. Zayn just loves how much Niall loves Harry. He quickly pulls on a shirt to cover his chest and follows after the boys downstairs and into the TV room.

They spend most of their morning like this, in the laziest way possible. Nobody has changed yet and no hair has been combed, but it’s nice. It’s always - well more likely than not - nice. The only exception is when the kids are cranky. For example, when Louis gets overly self-entitled or when Liam complains when he’s tired or when Niall is just- Niall; young and pretty impatient when it comes to most things, especially when he’s being fed. But most of the time, it’s nice.

Right now, Zayn and Harry’s hands are laced together and they’re sneaking knowing glances at each other, because it really feels like a family, with Niall sitting happily and giddily in the middle, practically bouncing in his seat waiting for his brothers to wake up while sipping his little cup of apple juice Harry gave him.

Even though Niall talks most of the time, they still watch TV, and two episodes of SpongeBob and about 3/4s of the movie  Dumbo (which is probably the most sad children's movie Zayn has ever watched) later, two more hyperactive bodies come hurdling down the stairs.

“Happy birthday, Ni Ni!” Louis yells happily at the top of his lungs while Liam settles for a hug to the youngest lad. Louis climbs directly on top of Zayn as if he’s bloody Mount Everest, nearly pocking his eye out and half of his fingers ending up in Zayn’s mouth in the process, and snuggles himself in the already cramped space between Zayn and Niall; whereas Liam politely - or irritatingly, depending on how you look at it - decides to pull on Harry’s pant legs until Harry finally picks him up and lays him on his lap, where he makes himself comfortable. It still ceases to amaze Zayn how comfortable his kids got with Harry. Zayn doesn’t remember a time when they’ve ever let anyone in like this before, not even Niall with his own mother when she still visited. Or when Zayn was still with Liam and Louis’ mother. It truly felt like Harry  belonged with them. It was really unbelievable, and believe Zayn when he says that he’s not complaining about it either.

A little giggle interrupts Zayn from his thoughts and he looks back down at his youngest. Anyone with eyes could tell that Niall was enjoying all this attention, with Zayn and Harry on either side of him and Louis and Liam crowding him in with birthday wishes and kisses and hugs and promises of cake and brownies they bought at the store two days ago (reduced sugar because Zayn has trouble with them regularly not to mention if they were high off of sugar) and everything else a thr- four year old boy can want on his birthday.

Zayn gets up from the couch and goes into his bedroom, grabs his camera and heads back into where everyone is. “Picture!” He smiles, dangling the camera so they can see. Everyone sighs - even Harry - but Zayn’s mom  demanded a picture this year and so that’s what she’s going to get. Even though Zayn and his mom aren’t on the best of terms and she almost next-to-never visits Zayn or her grandchildren (since Zayn really did run away and technically did 'abandon’ her straight out of high school, and just other dramatic bullshit she conjures up) he doesn’t want to lose contact with her completely. He sets the camera onto of a shelf across of the couch and jogs back to it. He sits down and the kids swarm his sides, posing for the picture. He pulls Harry close to him too, wants to let him know that he is wanted, that it’s more than OK for Harry to be documented into this picture and memory. Zayn sees Harry smile to the left of him, which makes him smile, and the camera flashes. He gets up from the couch and checks the picture. They all look happy; genuine smiles and love. He saves the picture and sets it on the counter.

“Can we open presents now!?” Niall asks excitedly gazing up at  Harry with hopeful eyes. Zayn sees that he’s skipping the “daddy, please, why not?” stage and going straight for the “yay! Thank you Harry!” one. It seems like whenever the kids want something, they automatically go to Harry. Trips to the toy store, to the lake, to the park, buying ice cream, eating pizza for breakfast, and even a trip to an amusement park (“that  one time,” Harry will supply, embarrassed on how much of a pushover he really is) are all things that Zayn would absolutely say no to; and all the things that Harry will eventually say yes to. Zayn pretends to complain when Harry gives in to Louis' sassy questions of “why not Harry, don’t you love us?” and Liam’s plea of “please Harry I promise we’ll be good!” and then Niall’s damn “Pwease Hawwy” with puppy dog eyes and that frown he puts onto his lips to go along with it, but really, he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind being the stern, lecturing parent nowadays, as long as Harry is there to be his counterpart. Besides, the poor lad just could never say no to his kids (Zayn has trouble with it too and that’s his own flesh and blood). It’s been that way ever since day one when Harry saw them dying for some ice cream at the park.

“Of course.” Is Harry’s answer as he smiles down at Niall. Zayn gives a lazy grunt of protest because it’s too early to open presents but other than that nothing else because after all it is Niall’s birthday, and really who could say no to both Niall  and Harry? Zayn doesn’t know and he’s not going to find out.

Instead, Zayn cheers, “Okay, let’s bring 'em out then.” while flinging Louis and Niall over his shoulder, leaving Liam to get his favorite piggy back rides from Harry, and heads upstairs into the master bedroom.

Throwing the kids on the bed, the only two adults in the house make a show of stashing out all the presents - 2 from Zayn’s mom, 4 from Zayn (making up for the fact that Niall doesn’t really get presents from his mom anymore or any extended part of the family), and 1 huge one from Harry - and sets them down in front of Niall. Niall just about looks as if he’s just won the lottery. Zayn thinks Niall deserves the lottery; they all deserve everything they want and everything good in the world.

Zayn comes up behind Niall and helps him open presents while Harry snuggles into Zayn’s side, his head under Zayn’s, looking like a proud parent himself more than just a once single fathers boyfriend.

Louis generously helps Niall open his presents for him. And when Niall can, he makes a show out of opening the presents himself as well. He sticks out his tongue once when he got a toy Liam desperately wanted - earning a lecture from Zayn on why that’s rude and how he’ll have to share his presents now - and later on promises to let Liam play with it on the weekends. It reminds Zayn of some kind of divorced parents dividing up days to see their kids. It’s cute, and Zayn’s proud of the fact that he taught Niall to share correctly. After that, other presents are handed out, leaving Niall a grinning and joyous cute mess. He ends up getting spoiled rotten and Zayn groans every time he looks at a toy that’s messy or has the possibility of getting stuck in someone’s mouth (or nose). He does it so much that Harry thinks Zayn may have a heart attack soon. Luckily he doesn’t, he’s just very worried that his carpet will get stained from all the Plato clay his mother’s present contained.

It’s Harry’s turn for presents now, and he looks as if he’s the one getting the present, grinning wide and proud. “Last one, Ni. Hope you like it.” He says, taking Niall into his lap so he can help the little one open the gift. Zayn watches with heart eyes seeing some of his two favorite people interact like that, it tugs on his heart strings. He wants to hug Harry, kiss him and tell him  _I love you for loving my kids_ but instead he bites his tongue and watches as Niall’s eyes widen when he sees the play set.

“Wow! Thank you, Harry!” Niall yells excitedly, jumping his little feet on top of Harry’s legs, forgetting that he actually does weigh something over 5 pounds. Harry doesn’t seem to mind that Niall’s pointy heels are currently digging craters into his thighs; instead he’s laughing along with Niall and capturing him into a huge hug.

“Nothing less for my favorite blonde buddy.” He grins. Niall beams up at him and looks back at Zayn, tapping his hands on the huge box, silently asking for him to put it together. It really isn’t necessary because apparently Niall isn’t the only one that wants to set it up, because another kid speaks up.

“Can we build it now!?” Louis asks, loudly.

The word 'breakfast’ crosses Zayn’s mind. Like, they really should eat. They need the vitamins, and the protein, and the boost of energy and all the other stuff little kids need to function in life. Zayn knows these things; he took health class when he was a freshman in high school. But then Zayn sees Harry begging in his peripheral vision too, so instead of making his kids eat healthy foods, he says yes to Louis’ plea.

They don’t brush their teeth or shower, which both really disturbs and grosses Zayn out, but he lets it go this one time. However the boys do have to put on shoes, so Zayn does Niall’s green and orange laces and Liam’s Velcro  Toy Story 3 straps while Harry is stuck with tying Louis’ red and blue stripped laces- which is a whole chore on its own because Louis likes to swing his legs even when someone’s trying to tie his shoes. Eventually Zayn has to literally hold each of Louis’ legs still for Harry to be able to tie the laces, but they get done soon enough.

The kids dart their way outside, with the two adults trailing behind, carrying the huge box, and laughing as the little ones trip over their own clumsy feet.

Finally outside, they dump the gift pieces and tools on the ground and really get to it.

Besides Louis getting a paper cut with the instruction manual and demanding a kiss on his finger from everyone, the whole process goes well. Everyone helps out and things go pretty smoothly. The kids pretend to be construction workers, and Louis takes it upon himself to be the boss (how heroic of him) and gives orders to Liam and Niall. He gives orders to Harry and Zayn too, and they pretend to listen (because really Louis can barely read Dr. Seuss, never mind an instruction manual) and they sneak kisses when the kids aren’t watching. But then Niall gets tired - he did wake up at 5 after all - and when he’s tired, he gets cranky, and then soon enough everyone gets cranky because Niall is cranky; so Harry decides that he and Niall will have a little break while the rest of them work on the play set.

A couple minutes later, Zayn turns his head to see what the two are up to. The sight Zayn sees makes him smile. Harry and Niall resting on the lawn chairs, Niall on Harry’s lap. He hears Harry ask if Niall got everything he wanted on his wish list, and then ends up trying to show Niall the correct way to pronounce "wish list" (Zayn guesses that Niall has a lisp so it’s a pretty much useless cause on that on).

Zayn tries to get to work to finish the set quickly; he has his two best helpers (in their opinion anyway) at his aid whenever he needs a wrench or a hammer - or some more lemonade - while he works on the mini Disney land set Harry bought.

Liam and Louis get bored soon after Harry and Niall quit, and they leave Zayn to finish the toy on his own. It’s not really a problem; he could probably finish faster without 2 little kids telling him what to do anyway.

After some more construction time, Zayn’s really concentrated on it, apparently making it his life goal to finish this damn, complicated, foreign little contraption of a play set, but something to the right of him - a little curious voice - takes him out of his thoughts.

“Are you our new mummy Harry?” Niall asks, blue eyes innocent and cheeks a rosy pink. Zayn freezes halfway through hammering in a nail and listens into what Harry’s response is.

“Uh- well, uh-”

But before Harry can utter out a logical word besides stuttering ‘uh’s, another voice speaks. “No, Ni Ni, don’t be dumb, he’s a boy. He could be a papa. Papa Harry!” Louis interjects thoughtfully, laughing at the end for no apparent reason.

“I don’t think-” Harry tries again.

“Or are you leaving too?” Liam asks, hesitantly. Zayn’s heart shatters because he thinks he knows what Liam means.

But Harry doesn’t, so he asks, genuinely confused, “What do you mean, bub?”

Liam frowns and goes to sit next to Harry, lays his little head on top of Harry’s chest and wraps thin, small arms around the male he’s come to depend on and know so well. “The kids at school don’t  only have a daddy, but I do. They have a mummy, but I don’t. But I was thinking, a daddy and a papa could work too, right? It’s the same thing?” Liam says so in a tiny voice, with a quiet Louis - which is unusual on its own - and Niall nodding their heads in agreement. Zayn knew that children could be hurtful, and his boys are bullied but they have been told things like this at school. Zayn's been called more than once from teachers who have told him so.

“Oh okay no, no I’m not going anywhere, okay? You have me, that’s even better! I’m not leaving.” Harry says quickly to comfort the boys.

The kids smile brightly. They have short attention spans, so to them the conversation is over and done with, but in Zayn’s mind it’s not over. He doesn’t know what to think of this, doesn’t know if he wants to hear Harry say that because all he can think is  _no Harry you’re young, you didn’t ask for this, for us, for kids._ He doesn’t know if Harry’s ever thought about it that much, and he’s afraid that after his kids get used to Harry being there all the time, Harry will realize this and leave. He doesn’t want Harry to leave, of course he doesn’t, but he also doesn’t want his family to build up lost hope. He doesn’t want this to end badly for his kids. They don’t  deserve another “parent” going MIA.

One last screw bolt, and then he dumps the sand into the sandbox, and he’s done. Mini Disney land is complete.

“Guys, it’s done.” Zayn says, putting his tools away.

He doesn’t know why, but everything feels a little different, a little bit heavier when he breathes. He sees that everything is back to normal with Harry and the kids, they look so happy where they are, but he just doesn’t feel like that right now.

Of course, everyone goes into hyper mode (“I call first turn on the swings!”, “Slide! I want slide!”, and “I won’t get eaten in the sandbox, right?”) But Zayn’s finally decided that food is absolutely necessary now. “Nope, food now!” He says with his eyes purposely avoiding Harry’s. He takes Liam and Niall’s hands while Harry takes Louis’ and heads back inside. Zayn ignores Harry’s sideways glance when he walks in right past him.

Once they get inside and get all of the kids sat on one couch, Zayn puts on a movie from Netflix, some cartoon that Louis has been dying to see, ignores the kids requests for pizza with pretzels on top for breakfast (whoever gave them that idea in the first place?) and leaves hastily to go into the kitchen to make some healthier food. Twenty minutes in, and he has company.

“Hey,” Harry says softly, “Did- Is what I said outside wrong? Should I have not have said that?” He asks worriedly. And Zayn is about to just collapse right now, with Harry looking all apologetic and sincere when he really didn’t do anything wrong. Well, not really.

“No, it’s just… I don’t know. I don’t want them to...” he rubs a hand over his face and leans back against the counter, trying to select his words carefully, “get their hopes up, I guess.”

“Which means?” Harry asks with his eyebrow raised, stringing out the last word in confusion.

“Do you really think you’ll be around here for a while? Harry, you’ll miss your freedom eventually, getting tied down to three kids is rough.” Zayn says, looking anywhere except into the green eyes that are apparently trying to find their way into his soul right now from the way their so concentrated on him.

What surprises Zayn most is when Harry laughs. “I love those kids! You don’t have to worry about me leaving you guys.”

“Harry, you’re only  twenty-two and-”

“You’re only twenty-five Zayn, really.”

“Not my point, babe, listen.” Zayn says, taking Harry’s hand in his, “What I’m trying to say is that things have been really good. But, it’s not always going to be like that. Not all hugs and kisses and laughing. Kids - my kids specifically - are hard to handle, and it’s not like babysitting. They’re always there, Harry, from now to when they graduate and maybe even after. But I’m afraid that you won’t be.” Zayn finishes. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He doesn’t want these words to be coming out of his mouth; he didn’t even expect them too. It’s not like he thinks about it often, but apparently his subconscious mind is very worried about this. And he knows it’s true, raising children isn’t anything like babysitting. Harry should know that before he commits to anything. Before he teaches his  kids to commit on him.

Zayn wants to keep the truth and reveal it to Harry all at the same time; wants to lock him in a cage and say  _stay _ but also release him to the free, young, wild, mistake-ridden world and just let  _go_.

After a minute of silence, Harry says a quiet, “Zayn, look at me please.”

Sighing, Zayn opens his eyes and looks at Harry. The younger lad smiles and kisses him, hugging him close. “I told it to Niall, Liam, and Louis and I’ll tell it to you too. I’m not going anywhere. I will admit that I didn’t think that I would be living like this, with you and three kids already. But, I just can’t bring myself to regret it. I’m not missing out on anything when I’m gaining so much already with you guys.” Harry smiles. Zayn’s about to say something to rebuke Harry, but he bites his lip to stop himself when Harry sighs and whispers, “I love you, Zayn.”

And Harry’s never said that before, neither of them has.

Zayn finally registers what Harry’s said and quietly says, “I love you too.” for the first time. Zayn pulls Harry in more, takes a deep breath and tries to take all of Harry in with it. Harry smells sweet and clean, like the woods and also the ocean. He’s the boy with the beautiful eyes and dimpled smile, the boy who knows what he wants and goes for it, and the boy who, apparently, isn’t going to let him (them; it’s a bundle package) go anytime soon.

“I know.” Harry grins, kissing Zayn’s neck while playfully nipping it. Zayn yelps in surprise and pushes Harry away a little, then laughs and brings him back in for a kiss. Zayn feels better, he feels more secure. That huge doubt he felt moments ago came and went. Is Zayn completely reassured? No. Will they probably have another conversation about it? Yeah.

Right now, though, Zayn believes Harry's every word; not a doubt in his mind that Harry meant them.

Once they decide they need air and pull apart, they also decide they  really need to finish this food that’s currently halfway to burnt in the pan on the stove. So Harry cuts some bananas, strawberries, and picks off some grapes for a fruit salad while Zayn finishes the grilled cheese sandwiches and they both walk back into the living room area, spirits lifted.

“Daddy! Papa Harry!” Niall says enthusiastically when he sees them. Zayn can’t help but smile at the name Niall has already given Harry now. It has a ring to it, Zayn has to admit. Zayn also chuckles when Harry gives a defeated sigh because even with the 'Papa’ title, Niall still manages to slur his name together.

Niall makes grabby hands for the food they brought with them and Zayn hands him a sandwich, joking that it has 'special cheese’ in it because it’s his birthday when it really is just plain yellow cheese. The joke goes over Niall’s head but he's eating it up as if he’s going to cry with joy at the 'special cheese’ so Zayn just shrugs and leaves him to it.

“You missed the part when the ogre went to go save the princess from the castle!” Louis exclaims now, pure disappointment dripping with each word because his father thought that cooking food was more important than a movie, while at the same time greedily stuffing a cut banana from the fruit salad into his mouth. Little hypocrite, Zayn thinks fondly.

“Oh darn, what a shame.” Zayn 'tsks’, shaking his head and leading Harry to the couch. As soon as their butts touch the cushions, three little bodies swarm them again. Zayn’s on the bottom, feet on top of the table in front of the couch while Harry’s head rests on his shoulder, with Louis and Liam pressed up on either side of them and Niall on Zayn’s lap.

Zayn looks around, sees his children (Louis’ elbow is currently digging into his side and Niall is, once again, drooling all over the hem of his shirt while Liam is on Harry’s lap, probably giving him a dead leg) and his boyfriend (cuddled up peacefully, attention given to the TV) and sighs happily. Maybe it’s because of this sappy, Disney something-or-other movie that’s on right now, but Zayn thinks today is a good day to give fairy tales a try, because Harry’s not leaving, and that’s all the happy ending he needs right now.

When he makes sure the kids are completely and totally enthralled into the movie, Zayn leans down and whispers, “I'm not letting you go either _Papa Hazza_.” And he feels Harry smile against his chest as he wraps an arm around his waist. He thinks he hears Louis and Liam giggle along too.

So yeah, okay, Zayn figures, then they’re all really fine with that.


End file.
